7 little beautiful gifts to give your best friend.

Best gift for your best friend.

This article was first published on Ayi Post.

When you are in a relationship with someone you love from the bottom of your heart, it’s save to conclude that you are in love with your best friend.

The most important action that keeps a friendship going and keeps friends happy is exchange of gifts.

What kind of gifts?

Gifts that matter. And gifts that matter don’t have to be big and expensive. 

Little gifts are the ones that really matter. 

Most of the little gifts cost nothing but mean so much. 

Here are 7 little beautiful gifts that would make your partner happy and keep your relationship running smoothly.

1. The gift of a quality time.

The gift of a quality may seem easy but it is one of the hardest to give.

Why is it the hardest gift? 

Because it takes conscious efforts for a naturally self-centered and a goal oriented human being, hard pressed for time,  to spare few hours for another person. It doesn’t matter that they’re in a relationship with that person.

But making the effort to spend frequent quality time with your partner is a priceless gift.

Spending quality time with your partner gives both of you an opportunity to share stories, share laughter and have a memorable time. 

It makes everyone happy.

 

Best gift for your boyfriend.

2. The gift of a listening ear.

Another little but huge gift is giving your partner a listening ear when they need one.

Social media distractions and distracting thoughts often combine to make it difficult for partners to listen effectively to each other when it really matters.

Effective listening is necessary to hear your partner out, understand them and respond appropriately in a way that shows that you care. 

3. The gift of empathy.

The gift of empathy is a product of listening effectively to your partner and having real love for them.

When the two are in place, you will naturally walk in their shoes to feel what they feel and respond in a way that makes a real difference to what they’re going through.

4. The gift of real faithfulness.

Yes, this is a big deal. 

This gift is the foundation of a loving, all round relationship.

Being faithful to your partner tells them that you value them above everyone else and you’re in it for the long haul.

What are the rewards?

Although not in all cases, but from someone that’s equally faithful to you, you’re going earn their true love, trust and commitment.

5. The respect of the right to privacy in a relationship.

Two people in a relationship would sometimes have the need to be alone and enjoy their privacy.

Individual’s boundaries should be respected. 

The respect deepens bond and tells your partner that you trust them to share what they choose to share at their own time.

6. The gift of support.

A relationship is about shared time, shared feelings and support for each partner's goals.

When you invest time, energy and ideas in support for your partner to achieve their goal, you earn their gratitude, loyalty, commitment and their deepest love for you. 

After earning their loyalty and commitment just by supporting their dreams, what more could you ask for?

Best gifts for your boyfriend.

7. The gift of true love.

Saving the best for the last, the gift of true love is at the core of a great relationship.

If you don’t love someone, don’t fake it and make them come along only to cause them emotional distress.

Good love is hard to find, don’t waste the one you have found.

Don’t worry about a thing. - Three little birds- Bob Marley.

Little birds.

This article first appeared here.

 

“Three little birds pitch by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs of melodies pure and true
Saying, "This is my message to you-ou-ou"
 

Singing, "Don't worry about a thing
'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright"
Singing, "Don't worry about a thing (Don't worry)
'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright!"

It was Paul Henry Thiry D'Holdbachthat said,

“The source of man's unhappiness is his ignorance of Nature.”

And unhappiness can cause depression.

You gain nothing by worrying about events long gone and lost and, events yet to come.

Yesterday is gone, it can’t be brought back. 

The gloomy future is yet to come and may never come.

So why do you have to sacrifice the beautiful gift of NOW for what you can’t bring back to life or for what you may never see or experience?

Why don’t you choose today, to be intentional about filling your being with laughter in a world many are ignorantly starving for same?

Be intentional about filling everyday you have with gratitude for the things you have. 

For gratitude opens the door to a life of abundance and happiness.

Now, anytime you disconnect from the source of happiness, go back to nature and learn that seeing the rising sun, is enough reason not to worry about a thing.

Bob Marley & The Wailers - Legend: The Best Of Bob Marley And The Wailers.

The gods - The beginning.

 

Saiz walked in a hurry in the dark. He glanced over his shoulder for the umpteenth time, to check if there was any suspicious movement behind him. It wasn't out of fear but out of habit. 

"I am a master of the night."  He reminded himself.

"It should be about 2:30a.m now." He thought to himself. 

He remembered checking the clock on his mobile phone when he was leaving the house. The time was 1:45 a m. Since then, he hadn't checked. On his way, he didn't dare or he would've revealed his position to the patroling local police. 

"I shouldn't check now." He thought, "I've to approach the prayer mountain as discreetly as possible. Pastor Peterson wouldn't want his spiritual focus to be distracted." He reasoned.

He was happy for the opportunity. He had waited for five months to be invited by the pastor to the prayer mountain. 

"Only five months..many ." He said under his breathe. 

He had met many in the church who had waited fruitlessly for years to be invited for special prayers with the pastor on the prayer mountain.

"I am a lucky man." He whispered to himself and smiled in the dark.

He increased his pace along the foot path, he didn't want to be late for the appointment with Pastor Peterson. His mind went back to the discussion he had with the pastor two days earlier.

"My son, I've a rule not to see new converts, converts less than two years, on my prayer mountain but I'm going to break that rule for you."

"Thank you daddy." Saiz said.

"I hope you're ready to make the best of this opportunity because you young ones are never serious about the things of God." The Pastor expressed his concerns. 

Saiz said, "Sir you've told me that my time has come, I will not allow anything to stop me." He meant what he just said from the bottom of his heart 

The pastor gave him a serious look and said, "Okay then. The time is 2:45a.m. You wouldn't see me if you come a second after that. Is that understood?"

"Yes Daddy." Saiz answered.

"You can leave now my son." The pastor dismissed him.

The prayer mountain was a mud house on a cleared land at the center of a cluster of trees. The mud house was the prayer house  The silhouette of the prayer house came into his view. His heart began to pound faster. He wanted to run the remainder of the distance but decided against it. 

"No need for that." I'm not late." He assured himself and maintained his pace.

Then he stopped abruptly, he was few meters from the prayer house. He stood motionless for few seconds, he could swear he heard a conversation.

He heard it again,...he couldn't hear it clearly from where he stood. "Maybe the pastor is praying..." He thought. "But...there's someone else there with him..I can swear." He said under his breath.

He tiptoed towards the prayer house. "I'm not taking chances, I don't want all these busybodies in the church asking questions and gossiping later about my business." He told himself.

As he got closer, the sound from inside the prayer house became clearer. It was a conversation between the pastor and a woman. 

He crawled on all fours to the window, then lifted himself up and placed his ear on a crack in the window.

"Daddy, I'm tired." A female voice said.. Saiz could recognize the voice instantly but he couldn't immediately attach it to the name of anyone he knew.

"Come on! I'm just getting started." Pastor Peterson said in a pleading tone.

""Daddy, we will continue tomorrow." The woman pleaded.

"Look woman, tomorrow is the last night for the special prayer session..."

"I know Daddy..."

"Thank God, you know. Don't you want a child any more?" The Pastor asked.

"Daddy, I'm desperate for a child. My marriage depends on my having a child quickly for my husband."

The pastor sighed and said, ""I know woman.This is the sixth night." 

He paused for few seconds and continued, "You know I'm a very busy man." He reminded.

"I know Daddy." The woman confirmed.

"If I wouldn't have the chance to come out tomorrow night, I would send brother Radoe..."

"No Daddy..the woman interrupted quickly. I want you to finish the work. You're my spiritual father, no one else should know about this.  Yoou're the only I trust to keep quiet about the whole of this "

The pastor sighed. The woman continued in a measured tone, "I don't want a man coming in the future to blackmail me. I don't anyone to come in future and do anything to destroy my marriage. I know you will never do that Pastor."

"God forbid! The Pastor exclaimed. That would destroy my reputation as a spiritual father and general overseer. I would lose the respect of my members and I would also lose my prestigious position in the body. "

"Thank you Daddy. " Said the woman.

There was silence for few seconds. Then the pastor asked  "Shall we?"

The woman hesitated for a moment then said, "Okay."

Saiz could recognize the voice now. It was Madam Sarai Bambi, the wife of Mr. Bambi, one of the financial pillars of the church.

Saiz was disappointed. He lowered himself and crawled away from the pastor, Mrs. Bambi and her moaning sounds.

After crawling a good distance away from the prayer house, he got up and began to walk back towards the road. He was mad at the pastor and at the church. 

"I now believe the story about the pastor and the two teenage girls, aged 12 and 14." Saiz told himself as he made his way towards the road.

Helena and Gloria were in the choir and in the prayer band. They were living with their single mother, a jobless poor woman who spent virtually everyday in the church 

The two girls spent most of their days in the church too. They were not in school as other children their age. They had no one to pay the necessary fees for them. The pastor paid the rent and occasionally, gave their mother little money, barely enough for feeding. So, the two girls and their mother spent everyday in the church, cleaning it and praying endlessly for a miracle that never came. They were always in the church, it didn't matter whether there was an activity or not.

One day,, the church members woke to learn that the woman had left the church with her children. It was strange. 

Saiz heard but didn't the rumour that flew around in the church after the woman and her children left.

He doubted that the Pastor Peterson he knew as the oracle of God, was making out with the woman as the rumour  said. That wasn't all to the rumour,  some people said that the woman left the church when she learnt that the pastor raped her little girls. Saiz didn't believe any of the stories.

He believed the version the pastor told the congregation on the Sunday after the woman's departure. He told the church that the woman with her children had a habit stealing from him and the church. 

He said, "I did everything I could to get her to stop the bad habit. I placed her on weekly stipend, paid her house rent, and paid the children's school fees."

"What else should I've done?" He asked the attentive assembly.

He didn't get any answer, he wasn't expecting any, so he continued, "Last Friday, I caught her and her children in the church, stealing from the tithe box..." He voice rising an octate with every word. "Can you imagine, stealing from the Lord?"

When members heard this, they began to murmur and argue among themselves. The pastor raised his hand and the church was silent. "I had to tell her to go and never to return. And.." The pastor paused and stared down at the congregation from the elevated pulpit..."I'll lay a curse on any of you that talks to that woman and her children again." 

Members were scared.. Saiz had believed the pastor then but not any more now. 

He screamed out in anger in the dark, "He's nothing but a liar, a dirty womanizer, a pedophile and an unapologetic rapist " 

He was almost at the road. "No more church for me. I'll see Macho this morning for the job. I've to take care of my poor mother and my pregnant wife. The brotherhood may turn out to be better than the church."

When Saiz got back to the little house he shared with his pregnant wife and his mother, he sat down outside on the veranda. He didn't want o disturb the two women.

His mind was made up. "The brotherhood is going to know my true worth.

Read the complete story at:

The goods. The beginning.

Will there ever be a time in the world when problems will cease?

 

Some say "Yes...but". They say that this will only happen,

"When human beings cease to be inhabitants of the world,

They believe that when humans are no more in the world, the air, the water and everything in it would be spared of the poison  humans with flesh and blood, have injected into the world.

As long as humans are still in the world they infer, the world will continue to present you and I with problems to solve. And they add that the world will continue to show you and I how to solve these problems.

But... as it's natural and normal, only very few of us will continue to solve problems for most of us. Why?

The few that say "yes,  problems will end in the world", think may be correctly, only very few of us will continue to place problems of others in place of personal problems. So they conclude, only the selfless will continue to live without personal problems in the world.

These selfless few that can erase the satisfaction of the needs of their flesh and blood for the filling of the needs of others love without personal problems in the world.

It's these selfless few that understand that personal problems will never end. They also understand that, no matter how much wealth one accumulates, the cessation to problems will never come. 

But burdens are lightened, a legacy is bequeathed and a lasting memory is created in the world by solving the problems of others.

For the selfless, there's an end to personal problems. They live everyday to solve the problems of others and for this cause, they cease to worry about the needs of their flesh and blood.

How to get whatever you want.

 

How to get whatever you want.

Whatever you want is not in your possession right now,

but you can bring it home by;

1. defining it clearly,

2. knowing the path that leads there,

3. having the courage to turn back when you fail and begin again,

4. and finally, by refusing to quit,

     

  until you win.

Those who win in life are those who have dreams,

dreams that make them sleepless and restless,

dreams that make them understand and accept that friendship begins

and friendship ends,

dreams that make them realize that life goes on and that happiness is within,

and it comes from living,

to do what others call work but winners call play.

Then when you live everyday to play the game you love,

you put yourself in the position

to have anything you want;

because your love would get you out of the bed every morning,

to traverse the earth with the rising sun, when others are still dreaming,

then love gives you the humility to surrender to nature, the greatest teacher;

to teach you and lead you to get whatever your heart desires,

now follow the path you love

and you'll have whatever you want.

What is the best way to handle complicated relationship?

 Naturally, your love life is meant to be as simple as having someone to love completely and the person loves you back in equal proportion.

It's the completeness of a simple kind of love that raises the pillars of security, dependability and inner peace in a relationship. If this simplicity is missing in your love life, it means you are in a complicated relationship.

A complicated relationship rests on the foundation of uncertainty and insecurity. It produces absence of feelings of having a supportive and understanding partner. It may sometimes give the feeling that "It's better to be single than to be in a complicated relationship."

In a complicated relationship, the support base is eroded by your partner's refusal to remove 'buts' and show total commitment and also, by their refusal to share their attention, time, energy and love with anyone else except you. No total commitment by your partner means that you're definitely sharing them with someone else. It doesn't matter whether they admit it or not.

What matters is your decision. You may decide to continue to remain in a complicated relationship or you may decide to wait until a simple and uncomplicated relationship comes around  The decision you make may define your personality.

Some may decide to continue in complicated relationships with the belief that 'somehow' things would become okay. But few would choose to take their destiny in their hands and embark on the search for their own true love.

Whichever decision you make, you should know that you're the architect of your life.

Can you find your true self while in a relationship?

is self discovery possible in a relationship?

For the person on the unfovaroble side of an imbalanced relationship, self discovery is an uphill task.

A balanced relationship where partners share love, attention and support equally, self discovery is made easy 

As a victim of a lopsided toxic relationship, finding the time, space and energy to focus on the task of finding oneself is always going to be extremely difficult. A victim of a loveless relationship could only find their authentic self by reason of accidental awakening.

But for someone in a great relationship where good love flows, the process of self discovery is rarely accidental. It's often a conscious effort, borne out of a genuine support by one for the personal dreams and growth of another.

Whether your relationship supports your self discovery efforts or not, it's worth it, because the benefits are many.

 

So, make the commitment to understand the real you and your real worth. Because after you've discovered and accepted your real you, you would stop wasting time and resources in futile attempts to be like someone else. And you would also stop living your life the way that makes you unhappy but makes someone who doesn't care about you happy.

Understanding your real values opens the door to the discovery of your true talent. It is also the real driver of self motivation, which is the only form of consistent motivation that no one else can give to you.

This self knowledge and acceptance of real talent and self motivation make it easy to reach any lofty height you set for yourself. 

The awareness of this possibility waters the ground for a life of happiness and inner peace.

Yes, happiness and inner peace are found where self doubt and inner critic are replaced by self confidence and inner coach

The consistent feeling of happiness within, found upon acquiring self knowledge would pervade all aspects of your life including your relationships. 

Self discovery would make it easy for you to be honest with yourself and with others in any  relationship you find worthy of your trust and commitment. Then you would also come to understand that nothing that runs contrary to your real values is worth keeping, including toxic relationships