How to get whatever you want.

 

How to get whatever you want.

Whatever you want is not in your possession right now,

but you can bring it home by;

1. defining it clearly,

2. knowing the path that leads there,

3. having the courage to turn back when you fail and begin again,

4. and finally, by refusing to quit,

     

  until you win.

Those who win in life are those who have dreams,

dreams that make them sleepless and restless,

dreams that make them understand and accept that friendship begins

and friendship ends,

dreams that make them realize that life goes on and that happiness is within,

and it comes from living,

to do what others call work but winners call play.

Then when you live everyday to play the game you love,

you put yourself in the position

to have anything you want;

because your love would get you out of the bed every morning,

to traverse the earth with the rising sun, when others are still dreaming,

then love gives you the humility to surrender to nature, the greatest teacher;

to teach you and lead you to get whatever your heart desires,

now follow the path you love

and you'll have whatever you want.

What is the best way to handle complicated relationship?

 Naturally, your love life is meant to be as simple as having someone to love completely and the person loves you back in equal proportion.

It's the completeness of a simple kind of love that raises the pillars of security, dependability and inner peace in a relationship. If this simplicity is missing in your love life, it means you are in a complicated relationship.

A complicated relationship rests on the foundation of uncertainty and insecurity. It produces absence of feelings of having a supportive and understanding partner. It may sometimes give the feeling that "It's better to be single than to be in a complicated relationship."

In a complicated relationship, the support base is eroded by your partner's refusal to remove 'buts' and show total commitment and also, by their refusal to share their attention, time, energy and love with anyone else except you. No total commitment by your partner means that you're definitely sharing them with someone else. It doesn't matter whether they admit it or not.

What matters is your decision. You may decide to continue to remain in a complicated relationship or you may decide to wait until a simple and uncomplicated relationship comes around  The decision you make may define your personality.

Some may decide to continue in complicated relationships with the belief that 'somehow' things would become okay. But few would choose to take their destiny in their hands and embark on the search for their own true love.

Whichever decision you make, you should know that you're the architect of your life.

Can you find your true self while in a relationship?

is self discovery possible in a relationship?

For the person on the unfovaroble side of an imbalanced relationship, self discovery is an uphill task.

A balanced relationship where partners share love, attention and support equally, self discovery is made easy 

As a victim of a lopsided toxic relationship, finding the time, space and energy to focus on the task of finding oneself is always going to be extremely difficult. A victim of a loveless relationship could only find their authentic self by reason of accidental awakening.

But for someone in a great relationship where good love flows, the process of self discovery is rarely accidental. It's often a conscious effort, borne out of a genuine support by one for the personal dreams and growth of another.

Whether your relationship supports your self discovery efforts or not, it's worth it, because the benefits are many.

 

So, make the commitment to understand the real you and your real worth. Because after you've discovered and accepted your real you, you would stop wasting time and resources in futile attempts to be like someone else. And you would also stop living your life the way that makes you unhappy but makes someone who doesn't care about you happy.

Understanding your real values opens the door to the discovery of your true talent. It is also the real driver of self motivation, which is the only form of consistent motivation that no one else can give to you.

This self knowledge and acceptance of real talent and self motivation make it easy to reach any lofty height you set for yourself. 

The awareness of this possibility waters the ground for a life of happiness and inner peace.

Yes, happiness and inner peace are found where self doubt and inner critic are replaced by self confidence and inner coach

The consistent feeling of happiness within, found upon acquiring self knowledge would pervade all aspects of your life including your relationships. 

Self discovery would make it easy for you to be honest with yourself and with others in any  relationship you find worthy of your trust and commitment. Then you would also come to understand that nothing that runs contrary to your real values is worth keeping, including toxic relationships 

How to break up nicely in 5 Easy Steps.

 

When you come to the end of the road after traveling together with a partner for so long, goodbyes have never been easy to say.

The difficulty to say goodbyes have caused many to quietly withdraw. They suddenly cut off communication links with former loved ones and fade away with no reasons given. 

The sudden disappearance leaves the abandoned ex confused, heartbroken and wondering often, "What did I do wrong?"

But relationships don't have to end this way between two adults who one time seemed inseparable and were a source of strong support to each other. You can end a relationship without burning the bridge of friendship. 

So, how can you break up nicely with your partner? 

1. Be sure you really want to break up:

Be sure that it's what you really want. Some have broken up abruptly with someone, moved on to have other failed relationships and realizes later that the one they ended abruptly was their best. 

Breaking up and regretting later coule be avoided when you're absolutely sure that there's no future in it. 

When you're sure that you really want to quit, search for valid reasons before you sit down with your partner to have a discussion.

2. Know and be certain about the "why".

It's easier to sit down with your partner, have a communication and say good bye when you have valid reasons and are definite that they're  enough.

Before you give your reasons, it would be appropriate to state up front that at the end of the discussion, there wouldn't be a change of mind because you've crossed the bridge. Then go ahead and state your reasons, say goodbyes and walk away 

3. Walk away quickly.

When you're done talking, walk away quickly. Don't prolong the discussion; be emotionally detached and avoid a back and forth question and answer session. A prolonged session could stir up old feelings and rekindle the desire to stay together a little bit longer. 

Making the decision to stay together a bit longer may go against sound judgement made in the moment of clear headedness. So, it pays to walk quickly and beat the trap of 'the head leading the brain'.to regrets.

4. Don't look back;

When you walk away, avoid looking back to the terminated relationship too soon. 

Looking back may bring back fond memories, which could force you to seek one more meeting with the one you just broke up with. If you should have this meeting, you're going to lose your respect and the position of authority you had when you broke up.

5. Give 100 percent of your time and energy to what you really love:

After breaking up, give all your attention to what you really love. It's a great away to quickly forget about your ex and avoid making the mistake of going back to them.

There's another benefit of turning all your attention to the stuff you really love.  It's going to make you very curious about finding the ways to succeed at it and to also achieve every goal you set for yourself. 

In other words, you're going to stop giving excuses and you're going to be persistent.

Susan Sontag says, "Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It's all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager."

Love burns not the sixth sense ability

 

Love burns and turns the wise into a fool,

follow your heart but take your brain with you,

your brain is the ability of the sixth sense

that will save you from burning in hell.

What are your five biggest fears and why?

 

Is it the fear of death? 

Or are the fears of boredom, rejection, suffering and self confrontation hunting you?

If it’s the fear of death then you have nothing to fear because everyone will die.  For every living human being, the real purpose of life lies between the beginning and the end. Now what is this real purpose? 

The real purpose of life is not to live forever but to use the gift of life to do what you love and share your love with a world that never forgets worthy contributions. Chuck Palahniuk captures the purpose of life in the following words;

”We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, but to create something that will.”

Set goals for yourself and go about working hard to achieve them. Be absorbed in your pursuits and when the fear of death occasionally sneaks up on you, find strength in George R.R.Martin’s words and push it aside;

“What do we say to the Lord of death? Not today.”

Are you afraid of boredom? You don’t need to be, you can create excitement for yourself everyday of your life, just by following your heart. The feeling of boredom usually comes from either doing what you don’t love or from being overwhelmed by loneliness.

You can overcome boredom and loneliness by doing just two things,

 Create exciting moments for yourself. Live life by your terms and make every minute count. Look forward to exciting moments you create and they would get you out of the bed every day. When you succeed at this, boredom loses its grip on you.

Another way to drive away boredom and loneliness is to make you into a great company to be with. This comes easily to the person that accepts who they are and are comfortable being who they are. Knowing how to belong to oneself is the antidote to loneliness. Michel de Montaigne puts it this way,

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” 

Knowing how to belong to oneself is a useful tool for dealing with rejection. The proof of this is that thorough knowledge of your capabilities gives confidence to take on tough challenges. It’s also an encouragement giver in moments of failure and rejection. But if you don’t confront yourself, you would not know the truth about who you really are.

”A confrontation, most importantly one with ourselves, is what needs to take place in order for true awareness, change, and healing to occur.” - Kristina Smeriglio.

Now, should you be afraid of self confrontation? The answer is No! it’s only through self confrontation that you discover the awesome strength you have to overcome your biggest fears and live your dream life.