What is personal failure rate?

  

Personal failure arises when you fail to direct your control over resources and events to a successful end. It may be a result of carelessness at some point, error of judgment about something or someone, inadequate preparation and overconfidence in your abilities.

Personal failure is not produced by an external power or an uncontrollable event. What this means is that, you have the power to get a satisfactory result the next time

The next time you have to begin again, use the opportunity and the lessons learnt from the last failure to prepare adequately. The lessons should guide you away from carelessness and overconfidence.

 

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Henry Ford.

When you have the opportunity to begin again, focus on the task at hand and maintain the focus till the end. Keep every distraction out of your mind till you get to the end. 

Succeeding the next time is not guaranteed, but the good news is that the right attitude after every failure guarantees success. What is that right attitude?

The right attitude is, ’never stop trying.’  Personal failure is about you not doing right what you have the power to do right. As imperfect human beings, we face daily distractions; some of them could cause loss of focus. The consequence of loss of focus is failure to do the right thing at the right time.

Loss of focus disappears when the determination to succeed at what you really care about is at its strongest. So, if it’s something you really care about and you really desire to succeed at, you’re going to find the power to focus at some point. When this power is found, success is a matter of time.

The truth about personal success is, it’s achieved when the rate of personal failure is increased. The more you fail, recover and use the lessons learnt to try again, you become a better person. 

As you increase your rate of failure, you improve on your skills; you deepen your depth of understanding and toughen your endurance ability. And eventually, you're going to succeed, and when you do, you become a great teacher to you and to others.

Chris Hardwick says, 

“No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist.

 

Where can you find real treasures in life?

 

Where Can You Find Real Treasures”

Real treasures are found in places you’re less likely to search.

You would find real treasures when you choose to embark on the journey you have always avoided.

You would find real treasures when you walk the upward path which has signposts, written in strange tongues that take patience and perseverance to read and understand.

You have been missing real treasures because you have stuck to and still believe lies and illusions you were told from birth.

If you knew how much those lies accepted as truths have stopped you from living a happy life, you would begin now to ask tough questions and discover truths for yourself.

The best person to ask tough questions is you.  Real answers to your questions would be found in places where learning, your driver would lead you. 

Nothing is hidden from a mind that is willing to probe beyond the superficial and dive into the darkest depth, the home to the real light.

Learning is not always going to be fun but it will never cease to demystify mysteries and give peace to a persistent seeker of real treasures.

In specific terms, the journey to uncover real treasures is the search for self. Discovering one’s real self is discovering real treasures hidden within everyone. Knowing and accepting your real self, your real strengths and everything about you will open the door to real treasures within you. It’s this simple. Unfortunately, only very few accept their real self.

Most spend a life time staring directly at the sun but never in the mirror. Most spend a whole life time aping others and working hard to be the fake version of another person. In the process, they miss everything including real treasures in them. Your real treasures are within you.

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I have been finding treasures in places I did not want to search. I have been hearing wisdom from tongues I did not want to listen. I have been finding beauty where I did not want to look. And I have learned so much from journeys I did not want to take. Forgive me, O Gracious One; for I have been closing my ears and eyes for too long. I have learned that miracles are only called miracles because they are often witnessed by only those who can see through all of life's illusions. I am ready to see what really exists on other side, what exists behind the blinds, and taste all the ugly fruit instead of all that looks right, plump and ripe. - Suzy Kassem, 

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful.

 

How does a man make a difference in his home if he can’t show up for any big decisions?

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

 

This purpose is defeated when a man doesn’t show up for the big decisions. When he ceases to be useful, his presence in the home stops to give confidence and security to other members of the home,

Without the assurances of his security for others, his presence leaves no long lasting impact. This lack of impact is primarily demonstrated when a man repeatedly fails to provide financial security for the wife and the children when they really need one.

When this happens, they gradually cease to look up to him for financial support. Consequently, everybody at home gradually begins to see the man as a liability.

The failure to provide financial security for members of his home has a negative spillover effect. Almost everyone at home stops going to him for advice when they want to take a big decision. 

They stop going not because he may not have something of value to give but because he has habitually failed to prove his reliability by being a stable financial support. The man is abandoned.

To make his wife and children need him again, he must make a major difference in his life. He has to make the decision to take actions that should improve his self worth. Where does he begin?

He should begin by setting small goals. As a man, set small goals for yourself because if you don’t have one, you would be too comfortable to leave the rut. Bill Copeland says,

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.”

 It’s a goal that makes all the difference in life. So set small ones now.

Be resilient and be persistent until you achieve your set goals. When you set goals and start pursuing them, life is not to get easier for you, you’re still going to fail now and then. But every time life knocks you down, draw inspiration from Steve Maraboli’s words,. 

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” 

Resilience and persistence always win. And when you win, no matter how small you think it is, celebrate it

Celebrate little victories because small wins put something in the cup for you to drink and be energized to keep on going forward. Bill Watterson captures it perfectly,

“Small wins are still won, and the journey is more important than overnight success.”

The celebration of little victories is going to inspire you to keep on going from one milestone to another until you get members of your household to sit up, notice and be a part of your celebration. Then slowly but surely they begin to give you the opportunity to make the difference in their lives, as you have always wanted

In matters of love, should you follow your heart or your head?

Love has a home. Its home is in the heart.

Love can’t be described because no one can choose in advance, the time, the place and the one they love.  And no one in love has ever been able to wrap their head around the reasons they do the things they do for love sake. In love, everything just happens for no sensible reason.

Anyone in love, who stops at any point to use their head to try to find reasons to justify the feeling, always ends up finding faults and finding excuses not to continue loving. Then they quit!

So, love ends when it’s led by the head and blossoms when it’s led by the heart.

How Do I Come To Terms With Being Alone Despite Wanting Company Constantly?

Solitude is the price for self awareness. Self awareness is the light, from which self-doubts and insecurity disappear.

A conscious mind that seeks and is desperate for the truth about self, realizes that it needs to travel alone often. The conscious mind shuns the company of people, who most times constitute the pressure that forces many to abandon the path less travelled.

It’s the path less travelled that is still green, still paved with pleasant stones and still offers true peace of mind, at every milestone reached. All other paths are overcrowded, polluted and infertile.

So everyone who desires true wealth and profound happiness, must choose to spend most of their times in solitude rather than in the company of others. 

How to manage relationship stress.

 

You spend quality time with your partner but you still feel feel lonely and not only that? What else? 

You've so much on your mind still you don't know or can't create the atmosphere to share with your partner and lighten the burden? Why? 

Because your partner seems to be adding to it with their demands, impatience and refusal to understand. You are stretched, almost bursting at the seams and the stress in your relationship, is squeezing the life out of you.

Now, you're thinking that if you could manage the stress in your relationship very well, then you just might be able to achieve a satisfactory level of stability in your life.

You may be right. Here are two basic ways to manage relationship stress.

1. Do this when your partner presses your anger button 

It's inescapable that your partner would sometimes do something in words and actions, not on purpose, to get you angry. 

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If you react naturally by being confrontational, like most of us would, you're going to be stressed out the more. It could lead to a fight that may not end soon.

The opposite reaction to the call-to-anger; being calm  should stop the approaching storm from escalating and adding to your feeling of stress. 

Sometimes you need to overlook and give others the feeling that they've won in order to have tour space to enjoy peace of mind.

2. Sometimes, choose to talk things over.

Whether it's about your own challenges in the office and at home, sharing your feelings and thoughts with your partner could relieve stress.

A word of caution, to have any meaningful discussion when you're stressed, create a conducive atmosphere for everyone first. 

Listen more and, seek to always see and understand your partner's perspective before you share your thoughts. 

Your thoughts should create out of everyone's divergent perspectives, a common ground.

5 Simple Ways To Overcome Ingrained Prejudice.

‘They are not part of us’’ attitude is ingrained in most of us. We prejudge others before we meet them and interact with them. In most cases, negative stereotypes stop us from getting to know people whose comtent could contribute positively to our lives. Then we lose.

How do you stop prejudices from closing doors of opportunity against you?

Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilised by education: they grow there, firm as weeds among stones. – Charlotte Bronte.

Prejudices could be eradicated by education. That education starts by answering the following questions objectively:

What am I being asked to believe or ?

It’s nacceptever late to challenge most of the things you’ve believed and accepted without proofs. Have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you may have unjustly hurt some people in the past by judging them on false standards?

Wouldn’t you want to make amends by ensuring that in future everyone you meet is given a fair chance before they’re judged?

2. What evidence is available to support the assertion?

What you’ve accepted without evidence can also be rejected without evidence.

Christopher Hitchens gave this advice in more beautiful words,

“What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.”

So where you don’t have a piece of evidence to support an assertion, dismiss it. There’re no truer piece of evidence than experiencing people’s actions first hand .

When an opinion about others sounds too extraordinarily different from how you know regular human beings behave, ask for extraordinary evidence. After all,

“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” – Carl Sagan.

3. Are there alternative ways of interpreting the evidence?

When you reject a stereotype and give yourself the permission to assess people independently and objectively, ask yourself if there’re alternative ways to interpret the evidence you have.

Try to understand how places of birth, cultures, thoughts and moments cause people to react differently to the same situation.

It’s therefore important to assess alternative ways of interpreting a piece of evidence before reaching a conclusion.

4. What additional evidence would help to evaluate the alternatives

Before you reach a conclusion, seek additional evidence. This may mean creating another environment to have a second chance to look at things from different perspectives. This second chance may present different evidence.

5. What conclusions are most reasonable?

The conclusion reached must be the most reasonable. It must a conclusion that would give you the opportunity to assess people most objectively and most independently.

Finally, there is always an exception and so, treat and assess everyone on the basis of personal interaction. And,

Never judge others…unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life – Colleen Hoover.

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. - Hermann Hesse,

If you hate a person then you have a reason,

everyone you hate is a mirror of your imperfection that disturbs you;

our imperfections; our fears are our demons 

and everyone has the power to face theirs,

the source of the power is love;

love the mirror and fill your soul with the power to face your demons

and live at peace with them and the fact that there's no perfection 

****

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. - Hermann Hesse, 

How to know that the one you love loves you too.

 

How do I know that the one I love, loves me too?

The signs are more in their actions and less in their words.

They would readjust their list of priorities and make you number one.

The number one priority on that list gives you the right to the lion's share of their love, time, care and orher resources.

When something out of their control, stops them from giving you the majority of their resources, they would humble themselves to apologize, then tell you the truth and appeal to you for understanding.

They would never hesitate, to show you their imperfections, share their embarrassing moments with you and hope you love everything about them.

One more thing, they would always share in your dreams and support you to achieve everything that rocks your world.

Live the Life of Your Dreams - Roy T. Bennett,

 

Live the life of your dreams,

live your dreams, not as anyone else thinks,

but according to your vision 

and not to meet anyone else's expectations;

but to satisfy the purpose of life, which everyone seeks,

which is, personal happiness wrapped up in inner peace.

****

Live the Life of Your Dreams: Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others. - Roy T. Bennett, 

7 Stages of effortless decision making process.

It's certain that everyone at one point in life has been in a situation where they couldn't make the right choices. The consequence of that was a state of confusion.

Decision making is not supposed to be a difficult task. By knowing the right decision making process, decisions could be reached effectively and effortlessly every time there is a need for it.

Below are 7 the stages of decision making process:

1. Define the problem.

"If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions." - Albert Einstein.

Everytime a situation calls for a decision, take the time to identify the real problem.

Without identifying the real problem, it would be very hard to reach a decision on the real solutions.

The best way to identify the real problem is to carry out a research.

2. Carry out a research.

Carry out a research, ask questions, go back in time, search the present and make projections into the future to gather enough data and information that would reveal the problem.

Leave no stone unturned, it's a research. If you knew what the problem was and the right decision to make, you wouldn't be carrying out the research? 

Albert Einstein said, 'If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

3. What are the alternatives?

The research should present you with alternative answers to your questions.

Consider each alternative course of action on its merits and prune them down until you're left with the best options.

Don't pick anyone yet.

4. Seek advice.

Seek the advice of those you wouldn't hesitate to trade places with. 

You shouldn't be surprised to know that people are often willing to share their success stories with enthusiastic listeners 

5. Which is best among the alternatives?

Armed with your best alternatives and the advice of your role models, analyze all options, this time, to pick the best alternative. 

6. Develop your plan of action? 

Develop a plan of action around the best alternative you picked in stage 5.

Then move on to stage 7.

7. Implement your plan, assess results as they come in and make adjustments where necessary.

Execute your plan of action and put it on your daily schedule as a priority. 

Protect this priority and let nothing else steal time and effort from it.

Be ruthless in your implementation by removing from your schedule, all other conflicting priorities.

As results begin to come in, assess them.

There's no guarantee that your plan will succeed at the first attempt of implementation. 

What should you do when it fails?

Ronald Reagan answered, ""The more the plans fail the more the planner’s plan.”

So when the first plan fails, find out why, adjust, make more plans and implement them.

Multitasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.

 You've little time but have so much to do,

Aha! You've to multitask since time can't be borrowed,

Go ahead! But you may end up achieving nothing,

Jeremy Clarkson says, "Multitasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.” 

Do you believe it?

Live in tiny homes.

 

How large must your space be in order to be happy?

a mansion or a home so tiny that walls keep no secrets but let everyone be

 a shoulder for a friend to lean on

and a heart for the forlorn to trust?

Isnt it obvious that when we choose to increase distances between us,

we take ourselves out of the atmosphere of true love?

Having a bad time? What are you busy doing?

Having a bad time?

If you're  going through difficult moment at the time, what're you doing about it?

Are you busy worrying or you're busy focusing on things within your control?

A bad time is made worse by a state of confusion, which is where worrying leads to. On the other hand, control empowers you with the positive belief and the right level of confidence you need to haul yourself out of a bad time quickly.

So, when you have a bad time stop being busy worrying and start being busy taking control of the things you could. In most cases, things within your control would light the torch for you to find your way out of a bad time.