Patrice Lumumba, His Golden Tooth and His Top Quotes.

On June 30, 2022, Sixty-one years after his death, a funeral was held in Kinshasa for the great man, Patrice Lumumba.

Patrice Lumumba was the Democratic Republic of Congo’s first post-independence leader. Sadly, only his tooth, the only remaining part of his body, was available for the his funeral.

His family only had his tooth returned by Belgian authorities. 

Lumumba was arrested and killed during a rebellion in Katanga.. His body was dissolved in acid but only his gold-capped tooth 'survived'.  This was kept as a memento by one of his killers.

Patrice Lumumba was the founder and leader of the Mouvement National Congolais (MNC). He was prominent in the fight for Congo's independence from Belgium. He was the first democratically elected leader of the country. 

7 Top Patrice Lumumba quotes

1. The only thing which we wanted for our country is the right to a worthy life, to dignity without pretence, to independence without restrictions. This was never the desire of the Belgian colonialists and their Western allies.

2. Political independence has no meaning if it is not accompanied by rapid economic and social development.

 3. A minimum of comfort is necessary for the practice of virtue.

4. Without dignity there is no liberty, without justice there is no dignity, and without independence there are no free men.

5. We know that Africa is neither French, nor British, nor American, nor Russian, that it is African. We know the objects of the West. Yesterday they divided us on the level of a tribe, clan and village…They want to create antagonistic blocs.

6. No one is perfect in this imperfect world.

7. The day will come when history will speak. But it will not be the history which will be taught in Brussels, Paris, Washington or the United Nations…Africa will write its own history and in both north and south it will be a history of glory and dignity.

Where you stumble and fall, there you will find gold. – Joseph Campbell.

Gold is found in places away from plain sight.

found below the ground where easy wins are hard to have,

It's hard to find gold  when the going is smooth

but where you stumble and fall, there you will find gold.

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a daily basis." —Margaret Bonanno

Life happens to you everyday,

So why postpone happiness to a future date.

That future date, tomorrow, may never come,

in its absence would be a reality of a chance lost,

but this chance wouldn't be lost, if we all understood that,

everyday is a blessing disguised as good or bad.

How to live a happy life (Things to learn from the Finnish people).

For five consecutive years, Finland has been number one the World Happiness Report's list. 

How's that possible in a country where cold weather is a perennial problem?

Apart from having working systems that guarantee a less stressful life (few other countries have too), they also have beliefs and habits that promote happy living.

Some of these beliefs and habits are;

People in Finland are encouraged to make nature their friend and teacher. The country's Everyman's Right says, "Hello,  enjoy the seaside and forest. Don't pay to do so, just  don't abuse this privilege."

They also  encourage each other to tell the truth about their feelings. They share their emotions freely and become strengthened by  the sense of oneness that comes with that. This habit reduces the chances of early death associated with social disconnectedness. 

Culturally, the Finnish people create plenty time to get away from work and relax in the company of family and friends. There seemwd to be this unspoken understanding that happiness doesn't come from how much that is accumulated but from personal contentment.

This personal contentment could be summed up in the following words; happiness is found in living everyday to enjoy the special gifts of trusting family, real friends and beautiful nature. Every other good thing is a bonus.

Bottom line, you've to continuously remind yourself that happiness lives within you. It's not derived from any material thing acquired. 

L.M. Montgomery - Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

Yet another mistake? This time, one too many?

Well, you can start again, yes from the beginning.

Don't be scared, winners don't ever quit;

Many mistakes force winners to go back to the drawing board,

to learn, know better and look forward

to tomorrow, a new day, a clean slate

without mistakes yet. So don't ever be scared to start again.

You want to stop worrying? Apply the Circle of Control Concept.

How many times in your life have you been in a hopeless situation where you felt confused and helpless? Many times, right?

Yes!  Can you remember the number of times you've lost control to worrying? You can'

Did you ever get yourself out of any of those situations either by worrying or by trying to influence things which totally out of your control? I don't think so.

Next time you find yourself in such a situation, do this. 

Instead of worrying about conditions you have little or no control over, give all your energy, time and other resources you own, to things you can influence and control. In other words, focus on the circle of control.

Where problems are, so also are opportunities to solve them and open doors to greater things and growth 

Focusing on the circle of control is a growth mindset that gives a clearer understanding of a problem, sharpens creativity and increases productivity.

So, in the midst of conditions or near hopeless situations, instead of caving in to worries and becoming trapped in the circle of concern, find out the possibilities you have and what you really have under your control.

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac.

When you're trying to live your dreams and keep failing,

blame your failure on nothing except this;

Your inability to control your passions

because passion is the speed but control is the power.

You would want to do everything you know and you're told,

take all actions, good and bad, to make your dreams your own,

but when you ignore to look forward after every failure,

search everywhere before you choose somewhere,

you would keep going around in a circle

and your passion would never lead you anywhere, except to regrets.

Why don't my relationships last?

 Have you been wondering why you can’t stay in a relationship for long? You may find the answer below.

Love is jealous, it doesn’t share its space with anything except people who’ve made up their minds to give love and ask for nothing in return. Sadly, those who can give love unconditionally and altruistically are not many anymore. The consequence of the dearth of givers of love is the prevalent of short-lived relationships.

Every human being desires to be in long relationship that has a fountain of ever flowing love, peace and happiness at the heart of it. Unfortunately, only few have access to this special and beautiful relationship.

These few are ordinary people who do only one thing right at the beginning and throughout the life of their relationships. What is that? They set out to give love, share love and not to focus primarily, on having a share in the wealth and influence of their partners.

Those who get into a relationship for the sake of using the union as a thoroughfare to social influence and comfort soon realize that material comfort doesn’t give the peace that true love gives. Then the absence of inner peace troubles and causes them to seek true love, which is the basis of inner peace.

Since love wasn’t the foundation of the relationship, none of the party would have love to give to one another. That would cause the one who desperately seeks inner peace and its twin, love, to look to someone else for love.

Then the relationship must be sacrificed to release the unhappy partner to embark on the search for true love and inner peace. The sacrifice marks the end of yet another short-lived relationship founded on everything except the desire to give and share love.

Why do people argue in relationships? Does a relationship need it ?

 Every relationship needs an argument every now and then.

It’s an argument borne out of either a misunderstanding or a stumbling upon of a partner’s secret that tests the strength of a relationship.

Where two partners are past the game stage and are in the commitment zone of a long term relationship, they end arguments and arguments don’t end their relationship.

Every relationship has its peaks and valleys. As a relationship grows older and longer, partners, gradually begin to climb peaks, reach summits and descend into valleys.

At the peak, the union is blissful. You know why? It’s because the relationship is freed of interferences by nosey family and friends and, by jealousy, anxiety and suspicion.

But being the journey that it is, the relationship is still going to encounter differences that would take it down to valleys. For couples committed to a long term, they would realize that life at the peak is more preferred.

And so they would always continue to work hard to resolve all differences and climb back to the peak.

The up and down journey would continue until the partners accept the reality that valleys would remain an occasional place to visit but peaks would always be the preferred and cherished home.

Charlie Chaplin - You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down

 It’s okay to fall, the reason is,

an attempt to break new frontiers or climb higher grounds has been made;

You should be commended when you fall, the reason is,

you’ve shown strong belief in you to overcome the fear that stops many from ever beginning the journey to greatness;

But when you fall, don’t stay down

and when you get up, don’t look down,

don’t go about complaining,,

to hide your pain, walk in the rain so no one can see you crying,

keep your head up and up, is where you must look

because that’s where you will find a rainbow.

This is why your ex wants you back.

At the beginning of the rains,

A sigh of relief welcomes its blessings,

Many days into the rains, overburdened by the wetness,

We wish for the sun and it appears;

The heat grows by the day and then becomes too intense to bear,

We pray and long for the rainy days to come and rescue us from the heat;

Haven’t we realized that we receive everything in its incompleteness?

The incompleteness is complemented by the generosity to give of oneself completely

to everything received in its incompleteness.

Talina was confused, she leaned her head over the sofa. She placed her finger on the screen of her mobile phone and made to call Charles but decided against it.

Charles’ phone number was the first on the call history list. The last call she just received was from him. It was the call that caused her to be in the confused state she was.

“Should I call him back and set up a meeting with him?” She asked herself as she ran fingers through her hair.

“…wouldn’t that be dangerous?” She sighed, in her heart, she could feel the urge to see Charles again begin to grow.

“No!” Talina screamed out loud, sat up, dropped the phone on the sofa and buried her face in her hands.

“I did nothing bad to him…everything was fine when he kicked me out of his life.” She muttered to herself and began to sob.

“I begged him not to end the relationship after what I had been through for him…” She trailed off as she her tears began to blur her vision.

Her phone rang. She picked it up and wiped away tears with the back of her hand, it was Michael. She allowed the phone to ring out.

“I will call him back.” She whispered.

Several months after Charles dumped her, she feared men, avoided them and doubted the existence of love. It was Michael that came along and gave her love, understanding and waited patiently for her to have the heart to get into another relationship.

Talina stood up and paced her living room as she wondered.

“Two years after breaking me heart, why would Charles be so desperate to have me back?”

Talina realized that his calls are becoming too frequent and Michael was beginning to be suspicious and apprehensive. She had told Michael about how her relationship with Charles ended. And she had also assured Michael of her total commitment to the relationship.

She couldn’t imagine herself hurting Michael. He supported her throughout what she believed, was the toughest period of her life yet. So, she believed she owed him her faithfulness.

She came to a stop, stared at the wall in front of her and said with finality, “Charles, I don’t want you back into my life. I will not allow you or anybody to walk in and walk out of my life any time they choose. I am in control of my life.”

She stared down at the cell phone in her hand and returned Michael’s call.

++++++++

Now, why does your ex want you back?

Your ex may want you back for the simple reason that they can’t get from someone else, that very invaluable thing you gave. You alone have what they never realized was very fundamental to their happiness when you were with them.

They now want you back not to give what you’re missing but to take what you alone can give. When an ex comes back to get back what only you can give them, it’s hard to know the level of significance of their willingness to treat you differently than they did the last time. Don’t forget they’re not back to give you what you’re missing. So accepting to go back is taking a shot in the dark.

Sometimes an ex may want you back for a long term, mutually beneficial relationship. The awareness that they have an almost zero chance of having someone else balance their life the way you did could be a wake-up-call. Your ex may become a trustworthy partner, a caring partner and a dependable partner when they have a second chance.

Giving a second chance to an ex, as mentioned earlier, is risky. The reason is, your ex may not have changed from that guy that broke your heart. They may come back only to take, take, give nothing back in return and make no commitments to build a stable long term relationship. So, what should you do when your ex wants you back?

If your ex shows up when you’re in a better relationship that’s giving you peace of mind and has a promising future, it’s wise to stay where you are. Stay where you are and resist the temptation to go back to your ex no matter how strong the desire to be with them again is. In a relationship, peace of mind is the most valuable benefit

.

If you’re not in a relationship when your ex shows up at your door, you could them a second chance. Begin cautiously, test the water with your toes, dictate the pace and the direction. Your ex would not have any choice than to follow you.

Although a relationship is not a place for competition, still you hold all the aces when your ex shows up and wants you back.

Nigerian Politicians And Gaffes Are Siamese Twins; Should Nigerians Be Concerned?

 It's January 2023, and leading presidential candidates are intensifying their campaigns to win the keys to Aso Rock. As their campaign trains traverse every nook and cranny of Nigeria, these candidates are cracking Nigerians up with their gaffes.

Gaffe is defined is an unintentional act or remark causing embarrassment to its originator. It's a blunder.

In politics, a gaffe is considered a public statement blunder which a politician believes it's true. A gaffe could affect the acceptability of a politician. 

Even if it's doubtful it couldn't the fortunes of politicians in Nigeria, shouldn't Nigerians be concerned about numerous gaffes made by leading presidential candidates? 

They should because the consistency with which these politicians commit gaffes shows a lack of mindfulness.

Research reports claim that lack of focus, communication breakdowns strained relationships, mistakes, prejudice, lack of productivity and burnout are some negative consequences of mindlessness.

These negative consequences are serious and should have anyone who desires quality leadership at the national level in Nigeria worried. Or shouldn't they?

What drives you to success?

 We can't move forward if we are not driven.

What drives us forward are the things that keep most of us from going forward.

Don't most of us quit when we fail?

How many appointments do most of us set up after every disappointment?

None or at best, few. And when we still fail after exhausting our trial tolerance, we quit.

We often quit at the point fear, failure and disappointment were there to drive us forward. 

But few are driven forward by the things that make most quit. 

Maybe the rest of us should borrow a leaf from the few who succeed.